These are very uncertain times as we are faced with a host of issues which we have never encountered. Terms such as quarantine, containment, and social distancing which were not in our daily lexicon are now commonly discussed. This is unfamiliar territory, which combined with a drastic change in how we are used to living has resulted in a great deal of uncertainty, anxiety, and stress. Each day, the increase in cases and the barrage of information has the potential to bring with it a feeling of despair, as the narrative continues. With these circumstances, and myriad events beyond your control continuing to spiral, it is understandable that your general anxiety and stress levels will rise, and if left unchecked, could manifest itself in a host of problems and have adverse effects on you and those around you as you struggle to cope in these trying times.
However, there are absolutely some steps you can take to help alleviate this anxiety, reduce your stress levels, and keep your health – both mentally and physically – in check. Here is a list of actions, that if implemented, will assuredly help you and others you encourage to take these steps, get through this crisis.
1. Mind-set – The first thing to do is to get your mind right. Towards this end, it is a matter of acceptance, awareness, and action. You have to accept the situation for what it is, be aware of what is going on, and take action. Instead of emotion-based actions, be pro-active and commit to taking the necessary steps to help deal with the myriad issues and concerns you face. If you are committed to doing so go to number two below and continue down the list.
2. Perspective – It is important to keep things in perspective, in spite of much of the doom and gloom you read about and her about. This current crisis, while a wake call, is not Armageddon. Humankind is resilient. We will get through this just as we have with other events. We have the best and brightest minds in the world working on solutions to help mitigate the current crisis. Even though our resources are being stretched thin, by working together and accepting personal responsibility, the measures we are taking will ultimately yield results. We will emerge from this crisis with lessons learned and be more pro-active in the future as there is no other choice.
3. Unplug – You want to be aware of what is transpiring and be informed. However, a constant barrage of news reports throughout the day, some of them rife with outlandish or sensational statements, is a source of stress. Limit your time with the news and online reporting as constant monitoring of these reports and obsessing over them can become compulsive and is counterproductive. You can periodically check for updates but stay with trustworthy sources such as the CDC, WHO, State and local sources. At the same time, if there is someone in your life who has such a negative outlook that it affects you, limit or avoid this source of stress as well.
4. Take Control – We are all creatures of habit. We have our routine which provides a sense of structure and order in our lives. With many of you, this is now not the case, as your schedule has been altered, in some cases, drastically altered. Rather than waiting for something to happen, make something happen. Establish a routine and a schedule for yourself, focusing on those things you can control. Put aside times for tasks that need to be completed, projects which need to be finished, or items on that to-do list. Be diligent, practice appropriate measures to keep you safe such as physical distancing, washing your hands, and wearing a mask when advisable. If exercise is a part of your daily routine stick with it and exercise at those times you normally would do so, helping you get back into your rhythm. Taking these steps will provide you with a sense of control, providing a sense of normalcy, while keep your mind occupied, and your attention elsewhere.
5. Exercise – Exercise is medicine, with both mental and physical benefits. Any type of exercise can help rid the body of stress. Depending upon your circumstances you have a range of options such as walking, running, aerobics, cycling, yoga, swimming, or strength training. If you are stuck at home, look for exercise videos and online exercise programs. Adapt your routine to the prevailing conditions and schedule the time to do this. Maintaining or adding this routine will keep your mind occupied, help you maintain your rhythm, enhance your mood, and help break the cycle of negative thinking.
6. Diet – What you eat has an impact on your health and your ability to handle stress. Be mindful of what you eat and how much you eat. Try to avoid convenience food, watch your intake of carbohydrates, limit your sugar intake, and be moderate with caffeine and alcohol. By eating a more nutritious, well-balanced diet your will feel better, be more relaxed, and sleep better.
7. Sleep – When you sleep your body and mind recharges itself. Depriving yourself of sleep is a stress inducer as it raises stress hormone levels. Being tired and sleep deprived also inhibits your ability to pay attention, increases your irritability, and erodes your self-control.
8. Relax – Take the time to do the things you enjoy. Reading a book, watching a movie or series, or playing a board game are just a few of the things you can do. Whatever is done, it should be something you enjoy which helps you take your worries off things and enhances your ability to stay calm.
9. Avoid Unsocial Distancing – While the intended effect of social distancing is to keep our physical presence to one another limited, it is having the unintended effect of many feeling isolated and alone. We are social creatures; thus, isolation and loneliness can add to our stress and depression. While you may not be able to be physically present, there are a host of venues to stay connected. Make the time to connect with people you haven’t talked to in a while and stay in touch with your friends via telephone, Facetime, WhatsApp, Skype, Zoom, etc. to counteract these feelings. If also gives you a chance to communicate with others and express your feelings, which can lift your mood, and is a form of therapy.
10. Have Faith – The axiom “You can’t have a positive life with a negative outlook” applies here. Avoid dwelling on potential negative consequences or looking for the downside of every situation. Look at this as a challenge which you will get through, take the lessons learned, build on them, and move forward with self-confidence and resolve.
The mettle of an organization and an individual’s character are revealed in how they deal with failure. Avoidance is not a winning strategy. You have to face failure head-on. When you do find yourself in this predicament, adhere to these basic steps for your recovery:
1. Mind-set – The first and most important thing to do is to get your mind right. Do not dwell on it, indulge in self-pity, or feel sorry for yourself. It will not change what happened. You failed because you had the courage to try something and it did not work out, but you have a choice. That choice is how you react and how you deal with it. Look at this as a learning lesson on the path to success. Have faith in yourself and be determined and motivated to find a way or make one. Maintain your composure, stay focused, and stay positive with the firm belief and commitment in what you are doing providing you with the courage and wherewithal to keep moving forward.
2. Accurate Date and Feedback – You need to find out what went wrong, what the consequences are, and what potential options exist. Basing your recovery and actions on inaccurate or misleading information compounds things, possibly turning a failure into a tragedy. It is imperative to get an accurate assessment, which requires candor and honesty, with an environment conducive to this type of exchange of information.
3. Be Objective and Rational – Exercise self-control, and resist actions you will later regret. Keep your head in the game as decisions made in an emotional or angry manner are almost always bad decisions, laden with negative consequences.
4. Learn, Plan, and Adapt – There are two lessons to be learned here. The first is what caused the failure. The second is taking heed of the events causing the failure in order to prevent future recurrences. Break it down into the essential components, understanding that oftentimes it is not one thing, but a series of events which caused it to happen. Whatever the cause, get to the root of it, and take action.
5. Be Realistic and Resilient – Emerging from failure is a process, fraught with ups and downs, and takes time. The factors that will determine what you can do or what you can’t do are usually resource-or time-related. Be prepared to make tough decisions, paying heed not only to what went wrong, but also what went right. Perseverance and determination are critical to seeing things through. You must have the character and strength of will to get through it. Take care of your people; there are others around you who may not be as resilient as you are and may not fare as well.
Success is a number of things done consistently well, across the spectrum. Failure is the antithesis, with the reasons for failure caused by any one or a combination of the following:
1. Staying in your Comfort Zone – We place a high value on winning above all else; many equate the thought of failing with losing. Consequently, a mind-set of “never fail, never lose” is adopted, which is a flawed line of thinking. Your commitment to succeed must be stronger than your fear of failure, otherwise you never try, which in itself is a failure since you are not doing anything and will never realize your full potential.
2. Lack of Belief – A passionate belief in what you are doing and confidence in your ability are essential. The absence of either one of these two ingredients will ultimately catch up with you. Your strength of conviction and belief in yourself will imbue you with confidence to face whatever is put in front of you.
3. Lack of Competence – Your ability directly translates to your skill set. If do not have the requisite training or background you will lack confidence, have low self-esteem, and continually be on the defensive. Ensure you are a good fit for what you are doing, play to your strengths, and develop a distinct set of competencies which enhance your prospects for continued success.
4. Lack of Perseverance – Nothing good comes easily or quickly. You have to work for it, stay with it, and never give up. It is imperative for you to have the conviction, determination, and will to weather the bad times in order to reach your goals.
5. Lack of Character – Character counts; it matters. Individuals with a negative attitude and fatalistic views do not imbue confidence. Holding others accountable but never accepting responsibility is unfair to those on the team. Intolerance and lack of empathy to those around you affects teamwork and morale. Holding others to one set of standards, while compromising those same standards through your actions, undermines your personal authority.
6. Lack of Discipline – Discipline relates directly to self-control, which must be practiced in order to be disciplined. It means continually adhering to the highest standards of conduct and business practice, avoiding shortcuts and temptations to do otherwise. You face problems head-on and do not procrastinate, understanding you have to put in the time, make sacrifices along the way, and exhibit a strong work ethic.
7. Lack of Focus – There needs to be continuing attention and focus on strategy, process, and implementation, including metrics and timeline. You need to be cognizant of direction, warning signs, and make course adjustments as necessary. Avoid devoting an inordinate amount of time to distractions which do not contribute to your personal and professional goals.
8. Business Partners – Most of the problems in business are people related. Great care should be taken when putting together a team to ensure you have the right balance of talent with good chemistry. Just as importantly, make sure who you hire is who they say they are and has accomplished that which is being touted.
9. Lack of Resources – This is usually finance related, pertaining to the inability to raise funds or the depletion of funds. Close attention must be paid to cash flow and trends, ensuring that reserves are put aside, and most importantly, that plans are realistic and attainable.
10. Poor Planning and Execution – When a business is in peril or fails, poor planning and execution are always central contributors. An aggressive plan with bad management and poor communication is usually fatal. Poor leadership combined with arrogance usually results in an inability, even unwillingness, to accept feedback, which later manifests itself in an avalanche of hidden problems. A lack of clear goals and little to no accountability jeopardize your ability to track and determine progress toward objectives, metrics, and timelines.
What is worse than failing? One answer is, “Never trying and never knowing.” That is even worse than failure, as you will one day sit back, reflect, and wonder, “What if?” You may even regret it and say, “If I had it to do all over again, I would have given it a shot.” The lesson here is to avoid making a decision for the wrong reasons, chief among them being the fear of failure.
“There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.” Those were Aristotle’s comments concerning criticism. You can just as easily substitute the word “failure” for “criticism,” as the only way you will avoid failure is to do nothing.
One needs to be prepared to accept that failure is part of life. You are not along in this regard and are not being singled out by forces intent on wreaking havoc. If you are living your life based on a fear of failure, you are doing yourself a great disservice.
There is no way to avoid failure; life is a series of wins and losses, ups and downs. However, steps can be taken to reduce the failures and mitigate the impact. You can emerge stronger, wiser, and better equipped for the next challenge if you maintain the right mind-set and take the right approach.
An important part of dealing with failure is to accept failure for what it is, learn from it, adapt, and grow. As Winston Churchill so eloquently stated “Success is the ability to move from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.”
You will assuredly be faced with adversity and experience failure, both professionally and personally. How one responds to these circumstances not only reveals character but builds character. When faced with difficult circumstances, there are a number of things that you can do to weather the storm. However, first you need to be cognizant of the ten reasons for failure, which I will address in my next blog.