Important Questions to Ask Before You Marry

Dec 07, 2016 | Planning

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Here at Wedding Sparrow, we firmly believe the beauty of a wedding is looking forward to the marriage. We believe that marriage is incredible, fairytale-esque, and blissful. We also believe marriage can be simultaneously heartbreaking and difficult. Physically saying 'I do' during your vows has less to do with how you feel at that wondrous moment and more to do with how you promise to act once you are married.

Part of the magic of marriage is the fact that two independent, wild, and free souls have made a logical decision to make it work no matter what and to love each other no matter what... and we believe this is the most romantic thing of all.

Compatibility on certain levels only goes so far. Past the easy components that can be flushed out right away (such as personal preferences, religious beliefs, the desire to have children, and more), there are components to compatibility that are subconscious or need to be peeled back like layers while getting to know each other.

How do you give and receive love?

Have you ever heard of The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman? Gary asserts that there are very specific ways that one acknowledges, receives, and gives love and the ways are very, very different from each other. We strongly recommend engaged couples to put a kettle on the stove for some tea, light some candles, and make a date night out of discovering your love languages. These love languages dictate how one argues, forgives, processes hurt, celebrates, loves, expresses anger, and so much more. By understanding the fundamentals of HOW someone interprets emotions can be revolutionary in the success of a marriage.

We've done it and it is truly enlightening!

How do you define a successful life?

What does a "successful" or "happy" life look like to you? What about in one year? Five years? Fifty years? Have you asked this ambiguous question to your partner?

Success looks incredibly different to every single person. It is important to not just make five, ten, or fifty year goals, but rather it is imperative to talk about what your futuristic "end goal" would be. Hear us out: say both partners agree a goal of theirs is to own a home and have a baby. On surface levels, both partners are a great match, they both want roots (home ownership) and to start a family! However, what if one partner measured the success of that goal more by the location, size, and age of their home? And the other partner measured the success of that goal by the activities that their child was involved in during school? Neither is better than the other, but those two people are envisioning the success of that goal in fundamentally different ways.

We're not saying that two individual people are required to have the exact same views on every single thing in life, where is the fun and variety in life in that scenario? We simply believe that couples must dig deeper to expose components of their upcoming marriage that potentially clash with each other and also to identify the components that they agree on. By having this knowledge, you are better equipped to ensure you keep that promise of choosing your partner every day, in every way, no matter what... forever.

These beautiful, emotive, and symbolic images are by Kate Ignatowski, in collaboration with florist Photosynthesis and Kate Jennings of Na Nin.

From Kate: "This shoot is inspired by the way love grows between newlyweds. The idea is abstractly represented by the growth of greenery down the staircase, in an arrangement on the mantle, in the plants they pot together. Wildly, simply, and sometimes with work."